I would like to share my time with Jesus and Mary last night....
I curled up on the couch and told the Blessed Mother I was about to pray the rosary for pro-life intentions. A minute later, I was hanging my head, half asleep. I said to her, "I'm too tired!" I received the inspiration to simply meditate on the Sorrowful Mysteries as I rested. So I started thinking about the Agony in the Garden. Immediately I felt, "I'm not in the mood for this-I want to think about happy things." Then I got the ispiration to find something positive in each Sorrowful Mystery. I was confused at first, but I tried. What could be good about Our Lord's Agony? I thought of the times in my life when I have suffered with anxiety, sadness and other unpleasant emotions. As I imagined Our Lord kneeling in His bloody sweat, I realized that indeed, He walks before me always. He does not expect anything from us that He was not willing to suffer Himself. And I felt great comfort.
As I contemplated the cruel scourging of Our Lord, I thought of my own physical suffering with chronic pain. All my pain has been nothing compared to His in those awful moments. And the Crowning with Thorns...what could that mean? I thought...humiliation, mocking, persecution. Yes, I've suffered that too...in my pro-life work and also for simply being a faithful Catholic. But to place a crown of thorns upon the sacred head of the King of Kings....and for Him to bear it humbly....for me, for my sins....in this as well, He walks before me.
What of the Carrying of the Cross? This is the one thing we truly cannot bear-the weight of sin. We are forced in the Sacrament of Penance to give it over to Him, to place the weight of our guilt into His hands. So I thought of my sins, the very worst ones....and great comfort came over me, knowing that this too, He has taken upon Himself, leaving me free once again to run and leap through the fields of life. And the Crucifixion. Death itself. Even this, we are not to fear because He takes this upon Himself as well.
So where does this all leave us? There is nothing in life or death to fear if we walk with Christ because...He walks before us always! Our Blessed Lord's Passion encompasses and embraces every suffering we will ever have. Our pain is small within the vast expanse of His Heart. My half-asleep meditation on the Sorrowful Mysteries was one of the best ever....a source of great peace and even joy. When we take the time to put God first and exercise the spiritual life, we are never disappointed. He always gives in abundance and so much more than we even imagined. This must be a foretaste of Heaven:
"...eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath it entered into the heart of man, what things God hath prepared for them that love Him." ~1 Corinthians 2:9