I was born in Levittown, New York, in the late 60’s. This was the first of William J. Levitt’s idyllic pre-fab post WWII communities. My formative years were a beautiful initiation into life. To some degree, my personality was formed by Levitt’s vision. I have never lost, through great trials, that spirit of beauty, order and exuberance that Levittown gave me. Of course, I also must credit my loving parents. Though not devout, they sent me to Catholic school and gave me some understanding of the Faith.
It all went south when my father died of heart attack when I was 7 years old. My mother was left confused and helpless, with 3 children still at home. 2 years later, she married a Jewish man and we lived a strange dual-religion life, with Judaism being predominant. This led to spending several months in Beersheba, Israel, when I was 10 years old. It was an incredible thing visiting the Holy Land at such a young age and it changed the direction of my thinking and my understanding of the world. I remember walking across the desert to the bus station (quite a walk) and thinking, “Maybe Jesus walked in this very spot.” We spent a few days in Jerusalem and visited the Western Wall of the Temple, the significance of which I did not comprehend at the time. As is customary, I wrote something and placed it within the wall. I have no idea what I wrote-I wish I could remember. This was nothing like a pleasure trip. The experience was fraught with difficulty and terror. But I am deeply grateful for it and everything I learned about Judaism, which enriched my understanding of Catholicism.
My teenage years were spent in New Jersey, in a spiritual search for truth and an immersion in music, creative writing and theater. After making the rounds of Protestant churches and considering conversion to Mormonism, a friend invited me to come to the city with his family, to see a priest they knew. This priest was none other than one of the greatest Catholic theologians of the 20th century, Fr. John A. Hardon (there is now a cause for his canonization). To me, he was just a nice old man. I spent a few minutes privately with him and confided that I was confused. The only thing I remember him saying is, “Pray the Rosary every day.” He handed me a pair of blue plastic Rosary beads, which I cherish to this day. Through the same friend, I met my future husband, also from a devout family. He was able to explain all the things about Catholicism which I did not understand. I made the decision at the age of 18 to return in fullness to the Catholic Faith.
At Glassboro State College (now Rowan University), NJ, I majored in music. After meeting Fr. Michael T. Mannion, famed for his work in post-abortion healing and the director of the campus Newman Center, I started a pro-life club. We accomplished some great things, but received flack for it, which included a run-in with the head of the music department. I left to pursue my dream of becoming a singer/songwriter in Manhattan (I wound up working all the time to pay my rent). Eventually, I continued college at the State University of New York in Purchase. I was one of a group of winners in a recorded music competition, which gave me the opportunity to present my work on a CD put out by the college. This led to a meeting in the Sony building in the city, with a well-known producer. He likened one song to Leonard Cohen and was interested in working with me. I was supposed to record a few more things and come back. I never entered the Sony building again.
With John Paul II’s “Motu Proprio Ecclesia Dei" in 1988, my husband-to-be brought me to the Tridentine Mass. At the age of 21, just down the block from Grand Central Station, at Archbishop Fulton Sheen’s former parish, Saint Agnes, I wept while kneeling. Seeing what I had been deprived of growing up…The most beautiful thing this side of Heaven*, I was forever changed. In the ensuing years, this is where my spirituality and intellect would continue to take shape, through the extraordinary oratory of theologians Fr. George Rutler and Fr. John Perricone. This is where we would be married. This is where our son would be baptized.
Work during my 20’s included teaching music, a series of office jobs and a difficult position at Good Counsel as a live-in counselor at one of their homes for women and children. I got to know the director, Chris Bell, and his pro-life heroin wife Joan Andrews Bell (I had sung 2 of my songs at their wedding reception prior to working there-Joan had asked me to do so, because she really liked a pro-life song of mine). Fr. Benedict Groeschel was part of the ministry and we would occasionally have retreats with him. My pro-life activism also led me to NYC’s pregnancy center pioneer Chris Slattery and sidewalk counseling at some of the worst clinics in the city. All of this gave me life experience well beyond my young years.
From Levittown to the Negev Desert to the death camps on Main Street, it’s no wonder my music sounded like Leonard Cohen. But gradually, I realized Cohen’s “cold and broken Hallelujah” could not be mine. There was another “Hallelujah” which called me. And I began to see, looking at the Signs of the Times, that the jig was up anyway.
After 10 years with my best friend, I finally married the young man who helped me so much in the spiritual life. We had a beautiful big baby right away. This was to be our only child. I became ill with Chronic Fatigue/Pain Syndrome, which I still suffer from. We bought a house on Long Island, not far from Levittown. In the past 20 years, I have continued with pro-life work, in addition to volunteering in various capacities (church, school and community garden projects). I have had training in preparedness/back to nature issues, including the Cornell University Master Gardener course. I am also proud to have pioneered a program with a local Montessori school, which has introduced thousands of Long Island children to gardening, at the annual Huntington Tulip Festival.
Needless to say, as a New Yorker and as a human being, I was very deeply affected by the terrible events of 9/11. After watching Bush’s behavior in the classroom on that day, I realized this is not the world I thought it was. There was something very wrong and I had to get to the bottom of it. Hence my “truther” journey, which involved in-depth study of the true control-structure of the world. This led to many esoteric topics and back to Catholicism, in terms of prophecy. (I have been connecting the dots for the past 2 decades, which prepared me for understanding the events of the past year.)
Realizing, as I suspected long ago, that we are approaching volatile times, a new dream emerged, of creating a Catholic ministry to deal with the issues before us. I started a blog 13 years ago and this is the current version of it. The vision of Nomen Christi Apostolate started to form about 9 years ago, as ideas came into greater maturity, including my thesis of “The Authentic Life.” Simply stated, the way God intended us to live, close to nature and communal, is also the safest, most self-reliant kind of life (ultimately speaking). The vision continues to evolve, particularly in light of the past year, as things are clearly heating up. It is my goal to move out of cyberspace and into the real world. I have become more interested in helping people to create rural refuges from the world. Stick with me and there will be more talk on this. I touch on theology from time to time. I should say, I am not a theologian but I like to meditate on these topics. I have been influenced by the best of the best and I give them all the credit.
My husband is an Information Technology manager. I would never have been able to navigate the computer world without him, so he has been an integral part of this work. Our son has an engineering degree from the University of Southern California. Our Shihpoo Frankie (named after Saint Francis) has degrees in cuteness and begging.
